She Always Did Things On Her Own Time
It’s funny how you realize the impact people have had on you. There are people that make their impact behind the scenes in ways you may not have noticed unless you had the chance to look. Sometimes that chance comes because that someone has died. It’s a bittersweet realization in that moment. But we cannot see what we are not ready to see, until we are and then we do.
My great aunt Harriett was a fiercely independent spirit who did things in her way, on her time. She never married, by choice, and worked because she wanted to helping to care for others. She loved interacting with children and pets. She had her quirks, as we all do, including enjoying on special occasions wearing unique hair accessories such as flowers or feathers. She traveled far and wide, and I believe that one of the last trips she took was to come to my graduate school graduation ceremony. I was surprised that she wanted to come, but glad to have her there and to show her around the city and mountains I had called home while I was in school. We exchanged birthday cards every year but did not see each other often.
Aunt Harriett died two weeks ago. She lived her life, her way, on her time, until the last breath she took. And I realized as I said goodbye in my heart, that in many ways we are the same. I too fiercely guard my independence and do things my way, in my time. Travel is one of my favorite things to do and I love the things I have learned going to different places and experiencing different things. I spend my days helping others and enjoy my solitude at the end of the day. Sometimes it takes a goodbye before we see an impact or a similarity. In that moment, there is a choice. You can choose regret or you can choose gratitude both for the impact and for the recognition. It is not when something happens but that the something has happened.
It’s taken me a couple of weeks to put these thoughts onto paper. It wasn’t a matter of not knowing what to write (I wrote this several times over while driving to and from my office) so much as taking the time to sit down and put pen to paper. Because the one thing that I have learned unequivocally over my short time here is that life is short, and you don’t get to know the end date. I love to write. I also love to do many things and so in celebration of a life that has ended I often find myself enjoying my own just a little bit more- including wearing flowers or feathers in my hair.