KINDNESS REQUIRED.

Many signs along the lines of “no shirt, no shoes, no service” have been adorning the doors and windows of restaurants and shops during the summer for as long as I can remember (unless you are residing in a Kenny Chesney song in which case “no shirt, no shoes, no problem.”).  I’m proposing that alongside these signs and also added to the doors and windows of all businesses and public places, be another sign saying the following:

KINDNESS REQUIRED.

There have been many social media posts about the shortage of workers and the “world being short-staffed.”  There have also been many posts and articles over the last year detailing how poorly workers have been treated by customers including tip stealing and the use of demeaning and derogatory insults.  This is not acceptable.

It takes a moment to be kind.  And it makes all the difference.  Waiting patiently, smiling, and using polite words such as please and thank you go a long way.  In some cases, this can literally turn someone’s day around.  In other cases, it is kindness that has saved someone’s life.  It takes very little effort to be kind and it feels good both to the person kindness is being extended to and to the person who is choosing to be kind. 

Is it frustrating when things take longer?  Sure.  Is it irritating when an ingredient has run out and due to supply chain issues is not available immediately?  Of course.  Is it okay to commiserate on these facts?  Absolutely.  Is it okay to take your emotions out on someone else?  Not at all. 

The word kindness has its origin in the 1300s and was used to mean “courtesy or noble deeds” (https://www.etymonline.com/word/kindness).  Noble deeds and courtesy.  When was the last time you did something courteous or noble?  If it’s greater than 24 hours or a “I can’t even remember” moment, then perhaps it would be a good idea to stop what you are doing and go do something nice for someone else (and yes, if that means not reading the remainder of this blog post that’s okay because actions are what counts here).

Sometimes being kind is the absence of being rude.  Hold your tongue with the age-old wisdom of Thumper: “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothin’ at all.”  If that’s all you can do in a moment, that’s okay.  If you have the energy available to be able to do something more, say something like “it’s okay” even if it is frustrating or irritating to you to have to wait a little longer or choose something else off the menu.  When you say it’s okay you are acknowledging to the person working in front of you that you understand it is in no way their fault and they are doing everything they can to manage in situations where things are beyond anyone’s control.  An even better solution is to do something kind like leaving a bit more as a tip, ask how the other person is doing and actually mean you are genuinely interested in how they are doing, hold the door, make a donation somewhere (even if you are on vacation: for those of you coming to the Cape for vacation this summer, The Needy Fund is managed by the Cape Cod Times and provides financial assistance to Cape Cod year-round residents in-need including for things like food, rent, clothing, bill paying when unexpected medical bills occur, and so very much more), wave a thank you to the police officer working the road work detail, drop off some treats to the local fire station, or see what other amazing and creative things you can think of.  There are endless possibilities for how to demonstrate kindness limited only by your imagination. 

Regardless of how you choose to show kindness towards others, because the point here is not the how, you just need to do it.  Just be kind.  It’s really that simple.